YES! I DO...

 

But please don't enslave me.

Excitement was an understatement to describe the overwhelming joy I felt when I finally said " I DO" to David, my man.

It was a sort of feelings that those who have taken the way of Isaac can relate. Yeah! I was married to my dream man.

The "I DO" was one that was embellished by my desire to leave behind my life as a single woman.

With glaring idea of what " YES! I DO" meant in marriage I had said it wholeheartedly in front of the congregation without needing any clairvoyant to explain to me what it means.

My "I DO" came with throwing away my past life away in totality and embracing the life of an African woman in marriage where the husband LORDs over all things and anything.

I could still recalled how David, before we accepted to live with each other as husband and wife, has never objected my presence in our relationship.

When I mean my presence, I mean allowing me do things I loved to do.

From being active on social media, talking to friends and extending my social circle, David has never for once behedged my life like he was doing after our marriage.

On the issue of social media, David had encouraged me to live up to trend, citing the fact that I have a lot to learn by keeping with the global village at the palm of our hands.

Soon after my marriage to David, injunctions were set and David restricted me from using social media, meeting my friends and living my normal life.

In reality, I was fast becoming a slave in my "YES! I DO." My whole life seems to have ended as a spinning wheel of misfortune. 

Accepting David's orders wasn't easy at first but  as an African woman, living within the confines of African traditions, where the husband is the  LORD, i therefore had no choice than to live my new life so as to avoid argument with David over  trivial issues.

*******

That first two months of our marriage, David stopped anything social media perhaps  as a deterrent to me.

Four months into marriage, I was completely frozen out of my normal life. 

Few friends that had personal relationship with me called to find out what was going on.

Most times I had to tell them I took a break from social media and other social activities too.

David at the other hand was living his normal life, active on social media 24/7, goes out and comes in at will.

********

At night, during bed time, David on noticing that I was sleeping, will explore the four walls of Mark Zuckerberg planet and chat with anything and everything under skirt.

During this time, I seized to exist in David's  world as he kept confessing love to everything available while lying on marriage oath that he is not married.

Some times girls who are doughty will ask him of the pictures they saw on his profile mobile uploads, but David will cook up lies  with words like

" I NEARLY MARRIED",

 OUR RELATIONSHIP IS COMPLICATED"

"MY WIFE AND I SEPARATED YEARS AGO" etc...

While my social media handles were inactive, David was on a spree of confessing love to daughters of Eve.

On a Friday night, I pretended to be sleeping and David on his usual self expedition, ventured into world of Mark Zuckerberg to preach love.

I woke up to met him not sleeping and I asked why but he told me that he was updating himself with information before going to bed for the night, that he was joining me soon.

The following morning, i called him after his breakfast and I asked why he has decided to make me like a slave while he was living his normal life.

He flared instantly as he questioned by trust immediately.

I told him I wasn't against his social media usage, only that he has made the marriage boring to me, but David reference my position as a woman in marriage who ought to let go of her past life and embrace the marriage life.

When I argued with him, David reminded me of  'EKPO NKA OWO', saying that it is very much active among his kindred.

I asked if that is why 'EKPO NKA OWO' was made to punish women in our culture while the men folk commit adultery without conscience.

He laughed and said that "YES! I DO" came with sacrifices.

There I realized the meaning of "YES! I DO" in marriage for some women like me.

✍️ Patrick Ekong