(how true is this?)
The story
Obika walked into the room and noticed that everyone was quiet notably her dad, Mr. Akim seated just directly at the entrance door to the sitting room.
The atmosphere in the sitting room was tense with everyone with a packed face.
She walked in with her headphones 🎧on. Subtle music could be heard especially with how calm the room was. She wasn't sure what was happening but something told her that everything wasn't right.
Walking passed her mom, to made her way into her room, a heavy voice thundered "Where are you coming back by this time dressed so tattered? The voice sent a spin down her nerves. She halted and turned slowly, perhaps afraid of what would follow next.
Her dad, Mr. Akim was known to her as a calm person who rarely spoke, especially not in the tone she was hearing.
At this point, Obika confirmed her suspicion.
I am talking to you, Obi... Mr. Akim asked, looking mean more than ever.
..Dad, I am coming... Obika stammered, finding it difficult to put her words together.
That evening she had left the house to go hang out with some friends, a thing that was becoming a habit. Lately, she has met some old-time friends and decided to have fun even when she knew that her parents would never support that, especially with those she was going out with.
"..So you now go out and come into the house as you please?.. In my own house?.. Obika are you out of your senses?
Obika was struck dead by her dad's voice and her mom, Mrs. Akim, wasn't helping either. She never wanted to get in the way this time. She has advised her daughter several times on the need to behave maturely especially now that she is a graduate and stepping into another phase of life. But each time she tries, she often meets stiff opposition from her daughter who will always say that things are no longer the way they used to be. " ..mom the street girls even meet luck than the rest who act and behave maturely, and at least from all findings that is what the society wants, most especially men." Obika will respond.
Mrs. Akim allowed her husband to have a go at taming Obika whom she thought was outgrowing her advice on how she should live a responsible life.
It is known that a typical African woman is one whose place in society comes with greater responsibilities, and expectations. From how she is expected to behave, talk, sit, and even associate with others plays a significant role in who she will eventually become. This was how Mr. Akim tried that evening to reinstall these virtues in her only daughter.
He spent several hours sermonizing Obika on the fact that no matter how the society has lost its values, people still expect decency from a modern woman.
...Obi, Mr. Akim called subtly, trying to establish the bond of father/daughter and with a calmer voice too.
"...let me pinpoint key problems why young singles are on the increase, Mr. Akim said, having his eyes fixed on the daughter to be sure she was listening.
☆ First, placing STATUS as the criteria for marriage. Young guys feel that marriage is more successful when they marry a girl of higher status. The same applies to girls.
Ask a girl who she expects her husband to be and she will tell you, GOD FEARING, CARING, WEALTHY, in fact, the list is endless.
☆ Second, not having a GOAL when going into a relationship. Young people who have found themselves in relationships have refused to know the goal of the relationship. They feel that eventually the goal of the relationship will be known without knowing what who they are in the relationship wants. These guys meet disappointed finding out the hard way that the goal of the relationship did not align with their own goals.
☆ Third, FLAMBOYANT WEDDING. The pressure of having a one-in-town wedding has significantly played a role in the number of singles in our society today. Guys want to show off forgetting that marriage is after the party. Girls too demand their wedding to be heard all over the place most especially on social media, a myopic demand that gets guys seeking where less will be accepted.
Also, this issue of flamboyant weddings has plunged a lot of couples into debt and the marriage is not eventually enjoyed.
☆ Fourth, THE MOTHER-IN-LAW.
it is a well-known fact that about 60 percent of girls would not want to marry to a family where the mother to the supposed husband is alive. The reason is simple. They don't want to be married to a witch, fear of the demand of the mother-in-law, forgetting that they will also be a mother-in-law eventually and this has left them searching.
☆ Fifth, COHABITATION in the name of courtship.
Nowadays relationships are seen as being purposeful by young singles when they cohabit. The logic is simple. Living with someone you are not married to is simply giving him/her the experience of marriage and as such every single idea of going into marriage with you is invisible as long as he is concerned, after all, he/she is experiencing marriage in 3D...
☆ Sixth, SLAY QUEEN/KING WITH BAD ATTITUDE.
Most young singles are glued to the idea of marrying someone who will accept them the way they are even when they have the worst of characters. You would have heard some of them saying, "I can be stubborn, mad but I am the most fun person to be with." Others will say " I need a man who will accept me with my flaws..... etc. Instead of working on self-betterment, change, and becoming a girl/guy someone will want to keep as a lifetime partner you are looking for who will accept you even with a bad attitude... Akim concluded with this.
Obika couldn't love her father any less. He has opened her eyes and given her a rethink on how to go about her life. She hugged her dad and promised to make amends.
Patrick Ekong
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